Coping Skills

Guest post: Introducing Ariel King

Featured today on the blog is Ariel King from Mama of Kings blog (www.mamaofkings.com). She has three young children with her husband of almost five years and is a stay-at-home mom. Her blog came to be this past January and has consistently gained more followers since. The blog was created as an outlet for her to cope with her anxiety and depression and has developed into a space where moms can go to feel encouraged, inspired, and supported. Occasionally, Ariel also shares educational pieces to help moms open their eyes to seek the truth and make informed decisions for their children.

I think that at this point in the ball-game, we all know that life is difficult. Day to day, you never know what you’re going to come face to face with. Every morning when we get up and step up to the plate we must be prepared for WHATEVER life throws our way. The best way to do that is practice, anticipation, and learning how to properly handle each “pitch”.
For 9 years I have dealt with depression. When I gave birth to my third child I thought that part of my life was behind me, only to be diagnosed with Post-Partum Depression (PPD) and Post-Partum Anxiety (PPA). I did not always have the right skillset at my disposal to combat my inner struggles. The problem was, my inner struggles were always met with more outward strife.
Coping Skills

Coping skills, according to https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/coping+skill are any characteristics or behavioral patterns that enhance a person’s adaptation. There are quite a few different categories and groups that coping skills can be broken up into. Over the years I have been able to successfully implement them into my life
Negative Coping Skills
Not all coping skills are beneficial to our mind, body, OR soul. It is extremely important to recognize the difference between the negative and positive mannerisms.

Negative coping skills include:
• Drugs
• Alcohol
• Self-mutilation
• Ignoring or bottling up your feelings
• Taking sedatives
• Taking stimulants
• Working too much
• Avoiding your problems
• Remaining in denial

I am guilty of using most of the methods listed above, and take my word for it, they will only make matters worse.

Positive Coping Skills

Within the category of positive coping skills are seven sub-categories. There are many different skills listed in each sub-category, so to save some time I will list those that were the most helpful to me.
1. Diversion: The purpose of this sub-category is to divert your attention away from whatever you are currently struggling with and get your mind off of it.
• Write or read
• Play an instrument or sing
• Take a shower or soak in a hot bath
• Go for a walk or run
• Watch TV or a movie
• Play a game
• Clean or Organize your environment

• TAKE A BREAK
2. Social or Interpersonal Coping: Sometimes we aren’t fully capable of helping ourselves, so it is important to reach out to others!
• Confide in someone you trust
• Set boundaries and learn how to say no
• Be assertive when necessary
• Use humor
• Spend time with people you care about
• Play with your pets
• Encourage others

3. Cognitive Coping: A lot of the symptoms that cause depression and anxiety stem from the brain, so you have to cater to that part of the body.
• Make a gratitude list (I make one weekly to remind myself that I do have things to be thankful for!)
• Lower your expectations
• Keep inspirational quotes in sight-hanging on your walls, on your phone lock screen, or even in a picture frame on your desk
• Write a list of goals
• Write a pro & con list to help make decisions
• Reward yourself when you reach a certain goal
• Write a list of your strengths

4. Tension Releasers:  Whenever my stressors are through the roof I tend to get abnormally tense.
• Exercise or participate in sports
• Catharsis (scream into a pillow, punch a punching bag)
• Cry
• Laugh

5. Physical Coping: When stress piles on, it can have an extremely negative impact on our body.
• Get ENOUGH sleep
• Eat healthy foods
• Get into a routine
• Eat some chocolate
• Limit your caffeine intake
• Deep and slow breathing
• Up your water intake

6. Limit your involvement in activities: One of my main struggles when it comes to other people is saying no! I HATE feeling like I am letting other people down, and it has taken me 23 years to figure out that I am not responsible for the feelings of others.
• DROP some involvement
• Prioritize tasks that are truly important
• Use assertive communication when necessary
• SCHEDULE TIME FOR YOURSELF (for more on this topic click here https://mamaofkings.com/ancient-art-me-time/)

7. Spiritual Coping:  This is probably the most effective and important subcategory when it comes to coping with my feelings and personal struggles.
• Pray
• Enjoy God’s creation
• Get involved in a worthy cause or ministry
Personalize Your Plan
While the skills I listed above DO help me, they may not have the same benefits in your life. Every person on this planet is different. The things that each of us will encounter during our life times will be different. How we are raised will NOT be the same. In fact, one of the only things that is the same is that we are all the same species.
So, if something on the list doesn’t work for you, tweak it a bit. Find what works for you. The people around you deserve the best you. YOU deserve the best you.