Joy of giving

 
Currently many things are being said about women’s welfare by the feminists and others who advocate women's rights. This is the time when we must ask ourselves what are We doing for our lesser privileged counterparts? Yes it is very important for us to be really happy to feel one very special type of joy and that is Joy of Giving! I wish all of us to feel Joy of Giving. 
Now, when we talk about ‘Giving’ people generally think it’s all about material things. Some of us may think that we don’t have much to give away. But I must say here that it’s absolutely wrong to think this way. Giving can include many things which are not just material. So here’s a little help to all those who are willing to get Joy of Giving in their life.


Time
It’s said ‘time is money’. So time is something very precious. In fact many people have lots of money but no time. So in case you have some spare time, you can give it to someone who needs it. People living in old age home need it the most. Sit near old women and just let them speak out their heart to you. It will give them immense joy. By bringing smile on their face you’ll yourself feel great joy of giving.


 Knowledge
All of us possess a very valuable thing and that is knowledge. If you can manage to take some time out of your daily routine or even once a week do give it to poor kids who need to be taught.  You can teach kids of you maid,cook or servant some Language,Maths or Drawing or anything you can. It will definitely matter a lot to them and to you it will bring beautiful Joy of Giving.


 Love
If you can not manage giving away your time or knowledge one thing that can be given freely is Love. Yes, even if you don’t have any other thing to offer you can always offer your love to those in need around you. If a person is sad and you just simply listen to his woes and hug her tightly saying I’m with you, believe me, this is the best thing you can do. I remember the Joy of Giving love this way, when knowing not how to console a colleague who had just lost her beloved husband, hugged her tightly. I  could feel, how relieved she was with this little act of love.


Money
Money can’t buy everything but sharing it with someone needy surely brings joy to both; giver & receiver. Donate a little sum of your money every month or as often as you can to anyone who is in need. Don’t ever think it’s reducing your balance. It is in fact increasing your balance of good deeds. Monetary help is a big help to the needy.


Goods
Giving away goods is also a genuine way to help others which brings you true Joy of Giving. Goods can be anything of use to others like clothes, food items, books, utensils, furniture, electronic gadgets etc. For women it will be good if you give them articles to maintain their personal hygiene. You may also give away some of your cosmetics as every woman loves to look good what if she is not so privileged as you are.


Hope you all lovely people enjoy giving and getting Joy of Giving every day in your life! Learn and celebrate Giving!

Author
This post has been authored by Deeksha, a blogger from India. She is a teacher, mom of a toddler and owner of wonderfulwomen.in http://wonderfulwomen.in  http://wonderfulwomen.in   http://wonderfulwomen.inhttp://wonderfulwomen.in
where she writes inspirational stories of real women who have made a difference to the world.

Coping Skills

Guest post: Introducing Ariel King

Featured today on the blog is Ariel King from Mama of Kings blog (www.mamaofkings.com). She has three young children with her husband of almost five years and is a stay-at-home mom. Her blog came to be this past January and has consistently gained more followers since. The blog was created as an outlet for her to cope with her anxiety and depression and has developed into a space where moms can go to feel encouraged, inspired, and supported. Occasionally, Ariel also shares educational pieces to help moms open their eyes to seek the truth and make informed decisions for their children.

I think that at this point in the ball-game, we all know that life is difficult. Day to day, you never know what you’re going to come face to face with. Every morning when we get up and step up to the plate we must be prepared for WHATEVER life throws our way. The best way to do that is practice, anticipation, and learning how to properly handle each “pitch”.
For 9 years I have dealt with depression. When I gave birth to my third child I thought that part of my life was behind me, only to be diagnosed with Post-Partum Depression (PPD) and Post-Partum Anxiety (PPA). I did not always have the right skillset at my disposal to combat my inner struggles. The problem was, my inner struggles were always met with more outward strife.
Coping Skills

Coping skills, according to https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/coping+skill are any characteristics or behavioral patterns that enhance a person’s adaptation. There are quite a few different categories and groups that coping skills can be broken up into. Over the years I have been able to successfully implement them into my life
Negative Coping Skills
Not all coping skills are beneficial to our mind, body, OR soul. It is extremely important to recognize the difference between the negative and positive mannerisms.

Negative coping skills include:
• Drugs
• Alcohol
• Self-mutilation
• Ignoring or bottling up your feelings
• Taking sedatives
• Taking stimulants
• Working too much
• Avoiding your problems
• Remaining in denial

I am guilty of using most of the methods listed above, and take my word for it, they will only make matters worse.

Positive Coping Skills

Within the category of positive coping skills are seven sub-categories. There are many different skills listed in each sub-category, so to save some time I will list those that were the most helpful to me.
1. Diversion: The purpose of this sub-category is to divert your attention away from whatever you are currently struggling with and get your mind off of it.
• Write or read
• Play an instrument or sing
• Take a shower or soak in a hot bath
• Go for a walk or run
• Watch TV or a movie
• Play a game
• Clean or Organize your environment

• TAKE A BREAK
2. Social or Interpersonal Coping: Sometimes we aren’t fully capable of helping ourselves, so it is important to reach out to others!
• Confide in someone you trust
• Set boundaries and learn how to say no
• Be assertive when necessary
• Use humor
• Spend time with people you care about
• Play with your pets
• Encourage others

3. Cognitive Coping: A lot of the symptoms that cause depression and anxiety stem from the brain, so you have to cater to that part of the body.
• Make a gratitude list (I make one weekly to remind myself that I do have things to be thankful for!)
• Lower your expectations
• Keep inspirational quotes in sight-hanging on your walls, on your phone lock screen, or even in a picture frame on your desk
• Write a list of goals
• Write a pro & con list to help make decisions
• Reward yourself when you reach a certain goal
• Write a list of your strengths

4. Tension Releasers:  Whenever my stressors are through the roof I tend to get abnormally tense.
• Exercise or participate in sports
• Catharsis (scream into a pillow, punch a punching bag)
• Cry
• Laugh

5. Physical Coping: When stress piles on, it can have an extremely negative impact on our body.
• Get ENOUGH sleep
• Eat healthy foods
• Get into a routine
• Eat some chocolate
• Limit your caffeine intake
• Deep and slow breathing
• Up your water intake

6. Limit your involvement in activities: One of my main struggles when it comes to other people is saying no! I HATE feeling like I am letting other people down, and it has taken me 23 years to figure out that I am not responsible for the feelings of others.
• DROP some involvement
• Prioritize tasks that are truly important
• Use assertive communication when necessary
• SCHEDULE TIME FOR YOURSELF (for more on this topic click here https://mamaofkings.com/ancient-art-me-time/)

7. Spiritual Coping:  This is probably the most effective and important subcategory when it comes to coping with my feelings and personal struggles.
• Pray
• Enjoy God’s creation
• Get involved in a worthy cause or ministry
Personalize Your Plan
While the skills I listed above DO help me, they may not have the same benefits in your life. Every person on this planet is different. The things that each of us will encounter during our life times will be different. How we are raised will NOT be the same. In fact, one of the only things that is the same is that we are all the same species.
So, if something on the list doesn’t work for you, tweak it a bit. Find what works for you. The people around you deserve the best you. YOU deserve the best you.

Why shift blames?

One mistake we often make is shift blames. We like to blame someone or something for our failures  and mistakes but we like to take the glory when something is done right. For some reason, we believe that something somewhere is responsible for our lives because somehow we’ve been conditioned to blame something outside of us for the part of our life we’re not comfortable with. We’ve pinned blames on our parents, our spouses,  our friends, our boss, our colleagues, our clients, the weather, the economy, our lack of finances etcetera.

 
There are reasons why we shift blames I’ll share three of them with you.
• It’s the easier way: It is always easy to push blames on someone or something especially when that person or thing is directly or indirectly involved in the matter. Consciously or Unconsciously, the first thing we do is blame something or someone else and not ourselves.
• As defense mechanism: For some reason, we shift blames as a way of defending ourselves, we want to excuse ourselves from something we don’t like because we don’t want accusing fingers pointing at us, so we elude blames by shifting them.
• Elude responsibility: We usually don’t like to take the responsibility that comes with our mistakes, actions and inaction. We pin those blames elsewhere thinking the responsibility will shift suit.                                

Making progress begins with accepting that you’re the creator of everything that happens to you, it means taking absolute responsibility for everything. All your outcomes, both your successes and failures, are caused by you- that’s how to take total responsibility for your life. You have to take responsibility for your finances, the results you produce, your debts, your achievements, the quality of your relationship, your feelings, your state of health- take absolute responsibility for everything. Truth is; nothing anywhere is responsible for your life, no one somewhere is responsible either so why shift blames? The only person responsible for your life is YOU. You’re the one to correct your mistakes, you’re the one to take the necessary actions, yes- it’s you. Take absolute responsibility for your life.

Hope this has helped you, kindly leave your comment(s) or question(s).

Focusing on what you want.

 

To focus means to give your attention, energy, time or resources to something, often something that is important to you or something that you want. It entails pouring your energy, giving utmost attention to what you really want and refusing to recognize what you don’t want(even when they are tangible).

    What we want often exists in our imagination(intangible) and that is why it’s a little difficult to give it our attention. Sometimes, the things we see or feel which is what we don’t want, often gets more of our attention; prevailing unpleasant situations also get our attention because we tend to focus on what we see or feel. We always want something in the absence of it, that is; we want what we don’t have or more of the little we have. Some of the things we want are: money, jobs, houses, happiness, a spouse, the list is inexhaustible. If you must get what you want, take the necessary steps or actions towards what you want. Don’t focus on what you don’t want, don’t complain about them, simply work towards actualizing your dreams(what you want).

Complaining to our spouses, colleagues, friends etc. about the things we don’t want means we are focusing on them and they will stay longer because you’ve given your energy, time and attention to them by complaining about them. It means you’re giving them life, it means you’re watering the wrong things. Consciously shift your attention from what you don’t want because we attract to our lives whatever we focus on. Focusing on what we want has a way of lessening those things we don’t want in our lives and giving us more of what we want.

Hope this has helped you, kindly leave your comment(s) and question(s).

The Most Powerful Tool- The Mind

The mind is the most powerful tool any human can have. Everything we need is in the mind, what we are, was conceived by the mind, where we are, is as a result of our previous conception. I learnt earlier that “whatever the mind can conceive, you can achieve.” No man is better than the quality of his mind, show me a great man, I will show you a great mind.

 
  What is the mind? I would say the mind is the seat of conception, it is where your thoughts originates. It is also important to know that your mind is immaterial and as such it's invincible. You can use your mind to your advantage. I’ll like to show you a scripture. “The lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, lift up your eyes from WHERE YOU ARE and look north and south, east and west. All the land that YOU SEE I will give to you and your offspring forever.” Genesis 13v14-15 (NIV). Emphasis mine. You can see that Abram got what he saw, he saw the whole earth with his mind's eyes. It’s impossible to see all the earth from where he was with the optical eyes, he saw it in his imagination and he became the father of all nations. If he did not see, God wouldn’t give him. A childless man became the father of all because he used the most powerful tool; the mind. What are you doing with yours?
   
You must learn to use your mind correctly. The images you hold in your mind about yourself, your relationship and your life as a whole is very important because they either make or mar your life. Hold positive images in your mind about everything, everyone and about life. Life delivers to you just what you think or conceive. For instance, have you ever thought of someone and you find the person calling or come visiting  later? That’s the simplest way I can explain that your mind(thoughts) attracts the people, things or anything it thinks about especially your predominant thoughts. Like attracts like, therefore you attract situations similar to that which is in your mind. Don’t forget your words come from your mind too that means it reflects your thinking. Imagine how your life will be if you begin now to be positive in your thinking about everything and everyone in your life, you will begin to attract  positive and rewarding situations and events to yourself. Change those negative thoughts in your mind.

 You become your thoughts, no wonder the wisest man said “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.” You become what you think about most of the time. If you think you can’t, you can’t. If you think you won't win, it almost certain you won't. If you think you're the best, you are and if you think you will win, you will. It all start by altering your mental attitude because the result you get depends on the state of your mind. Pay attention to what occupies your mind. Guard what gets into your mind by filtering every thought. If you want to get the desired results in your life then “…keep thy heart with all deligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4v23 (KJV)

Hope this has helped you, kindly leave your comment(s) and question(s).